How PPD Affects Marriage
It is common for couples to face marital problems during their first year after welcoming a new child into the world. Postpartum depression can make this lifestyle change even more difficult.
Depression of any kind can seriously strain a relationship. However, postpartum depression is directly linked to an increase in marital problems. There are many reasons why marriage problems occur during postpartum depression.
Facing postpartum depression is stressful enough on its own. Chronic sadness and anxiety combined with relationship tension can further compound the problem.
Postpartum Depression Marriage Challenges
Many marital challenges can occur due to postpartum depression. The mother and her spouse often feel neglected, confused, unsupported, burdened or exhausted.
These feelings can lead to ongoing struggles that further complicate being a new parent.
Causes of Postpartum Depression Marriage Problems
There is often not just one single cause of postpartum depression marriage problems. They are usually the result of different factors and situations happening all at once.
Here are some of the top factors that lead to postpartum depression marriage problems:
Increased Workload
It is never possible for a couple to be 100% prepared for a new baby to join the family. Often, couples underestimate the amount of work required during the weeks following childbirth. For mothers facing postpartum depression, this increased workload becomes an overwhelming feeling of possibly losing control.
Because of this increased workload for both parents, it can be difficult for each one to prioritize the other. Instead, priorities turn to the baby. In turn, one or both parents may feel neglected by the other.
Lack of Communication
Many new emotions and responsibilities arise after having a new baby. With the addition of PPD, it is common for couples to cut off communication. Couples may find it difficult to describe their feelings or fear they will offend others. They may also believe the condition will simply go away on its own.
Regardless of why communication stops, it often contributes to marriage problems during postpartum depression.
Financial Constraints
Along with not being prepared for an increased workload, some couples are simply not prepared financially to deal with a new baby. Money problems create significant stress between a couple. Combine financial constraints with the symptoms of postpartum depression, further creating a problematic household environment.
Lack of Quality Time
One of the most common problems couples face throughout the first year of having a new baby is the lack of quality time the couple can spend alone together. When women are struggling with postpartum depression, they may find it difficult to want to make time for their partner. This is because a common symptom of postpartum depression is isolation.
To the other partner, this can seem hurtful and confusing. This creates a greater divide between the couple and spurs more postpartum depression marriage problems.
Decrease in Intimacy
Postpartum depression has many symptoms, including fatigue and a loss of interest in sex. Due to emotional pressures, many couples lose intimacy during the postpartum period. This happens for many reasons, such as a lack of communication and not spending enough time alone together.
Lack of intimacy in a relationship triggers a set of additional postpartum depression marriage problems. These challenges include feelings of dissatisfaction and a loss of self-worth. This can affect one or both partners.
Postpartum Depression Marriage Tips
If you’re struggling with marriage problems during postpartum depression, know that you are not alone. Many couples face marital problems and learn to work through them healthily during this difficult time.
Here are some tips to cope with and heal marriage problems during PPD:
- Recognize the Causes: Couples must acknowledge their marital problems’ underlying causes. By taking a step back and looking at the root of their strained relationship, couples can make healthy steps towards mending their partnership.
- Communicate: Communicating emotions is hard at any point in life, but may be especially hard during postpartum depression. Talking about your feelings with your partner will make you feel better and will shed light on how the other is feeling.
- Support Each Other: It is natural for people to become so focused on their own feelings that they forget about their partner’s feelings. Showing support and concern for your partner can help to bring the two of you closer together.
- Seek Help: Seeking outside counseling—whether it’s together or separately—is a positive way to cope with postpartum depression and marriage problems. A professional therapist or counselor can give you the tools you need to keep your relationship healthy. Simply talking about your feelings and having them validated by a professional makes a couple feel more confident moving forward.
- Remember it is Temporary: Ultimately, keeping the situation in perspective is important. If you are seeking postpartum depression treatment, then you know this condition will eventually pass. Remembering that the depression will go away can help you stay realistic about any relationship challenges you face.
