How In-Laws Can Support a Loved One with Postpartum Depression
If your daughter-in-law has just been diagnosed with postpartum depression or is experiencing initial symptoms, it can be difficult to know how to respond and how to help. Many in-laws face stresses of their own when they become concerned about their daughter-in-law, their own child, and grandchild or grandchildren.
Below is a guide for parents-in-law to follow to help the mother and her family cope with postpartum depression in healthy and supportive ways.
Stay Connected
Staying connected with the family lets you be informed about your daughter-in-law’s condition and notice any symptoms in your child. Fathers and spouses often suffer in silence when their partner is experiencing postpartum depression. Many fathers hold back about their own struggles because they feel their partner’s needs should come first.
As the parents-in-law, be on the lookout for possible depression-like symptoms in your own child so you can help support them as well. By communicating regularly with your family, you can better understand how these symptoms affect everyone involved.
Encourage Treatment
Treatment is important in ensuring that the mother’s postpartum depression symptoms are managed. If she is apprehensive about seeking treatment or unsure of which type of treatment to pursue, encourage her to make an initial doctor’s visit. While you don’t want to pressure her into anything, you can still support treatment options.
You can even suggest other forms of support, such as a postpartum depression hotline, a local support group, or counseling from someone else, like a spiritual leader. She must feel your support, concern, and interest in her well-being and recovery.
Offer Stability
Family households face a lot of uncertainty and instability when a mother is affected by postpartum depression. The house may become disorganized, responsibilities may be dropped and the mother may feel more guilty as a result.
As parents-in-law, you can offer support by being the stability the couple seeks to restore. Offer to set a regular visit schedule, prepare meals, or however they require stability. If you can consistently reassure them, you can prevent and relieve additional stress.
Help With Childcare
Many couples face marital problems during postpartum depression. Strain between partners and depression often go together, and time alone as a couple can give them a chance to reconnect. As the parents or in-laws of the affected couple, encourage them to spend time together without their children.
Offering child care for a day or a weekend relieves stress and guilt they may feel about spending time away from the house together.
Give Them Space
Grandparents naturally love to spend as much time as possible with their new grandchildren. This may be especially true if your family is facing postpartum depression. But it’s important to give your family space as they work through postpartum depression symptoms and find the right treatment course.
Let them know you are willing and able to help — but don’t overwhelm them. Let them come to you when they are ready.
Be a Friend
Instead of acting as a parent, try to see your role as a friend who is there to listen. Let the mother know that you can go for walks, coffee, or get out of the house with her if she needs it. This way, you can still offer support without overwhelming her with advice or concern that she may already be getting from her own parents.
Remember that you can’t fix her depression yourself, but it is treatable. Support the steps that she and her spouse are taking to seek help. By remaining positive about her progress and focusing on the fact that with treatment, most women feel better, you can play an important role in her recovery.
